heartbreak

Heartbreak. Do you remember your first heartbreak? Why in the world do you?! I mean, why would you remember when it's something really, really "heart-breaking"? What's worth remembering about it, lessons learned?

Ok, you may picture me doing the "kilay seesaw with kunot-noo" and I won't take it against you. But read on.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

It's been a long time since I last used this word. heartbreak. Quite a long time ago since I last experienced the word. heartbreak. And I'm using it again, now, because this is what's happening. Heartbreak.

Yes, my heart is breaking. Breaking for someone lost. A love unrequited. A waterfall of tears. A decision to let go and stop believing; not to trust, no, not anymore.

Suffering, grief, disappointment, anger. They all have their way of making things dark. And in the dark, when we can't see, we often choose to close our eyes. Sometimes foolishly. We succumb to the gloom and close our minds to the hope of morning.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I don't know her that well. We barely spoke nor had a notable kwentuhan. She's five years younger, a graduating iskolar ng bayan. She supports herself. She works to study, and studies to work for a better future. She was a Sunday School teacher.

But she is busy. Too busy doing her best, working hard, relying on herself.

For He disappointed her. She needs Him but she can't see Him. She was afraid but comfort did not come. She cried but no one seemed to hear. She felt alone, and she can't afford to trust.

People disappointed her. Respected ones failed her. If they, "holy and righteous", can be like that, then what makes them different from the scum of the earth?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

There is a mother crying. Crying for a daughter lost. She blames her lack of wisdom. For it's not enough to win her "non-prodigal" child back. To convince her to return. Return to her Father.

She's shed a waterfall.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Heartbreaking. This is heartbreaking for me. And it is very real.
I fear for her future. For I know that the Father loves her and He doesn't want her down there.

And this heartbreak, unpleasant as it is, I don't wish to forget it. For it is a reminder of a responsibility and a command. One we should always keep in mind.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:18-20 (New International Version)


 

AFRAID

Afraid that what they think is right
Afraid that it is true
Afraid that I might feel the same
Afraid and doubtful, too.

Afraid to finally take the risk
Afraid I might be wrong
Afraid that it's not what it seems
Afraid of losing all.

Afraid of all uncertainties
Afraid of giving up;
Afraid that maybe you're the one
Afraid I've led you out.

Afraid of possibilities
And what the future brings
But fearful me wanted to be
A bird, and fly with wings

What should I do? I ask myself
I am much too afraid
And I have seen that I have been
Of many things, afraid.

~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
So I'll decide, once and for all
That I will do my best
To rise up from that breaking fall
And trust God for the rest.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~

In Heaven's Eyes

sung by Sandi Patti and written by Phill McHugh.

A fervent prayer rose up to heaven,
A fragile soul was losing ground
Sorting through the earthly babble,
Heaven heard the sound.

It was a life of no distinction,
No successes, only tries.
Yet gazing down on this unlovely one,
There was love in Heaven's Eyes.

The orphaned child, the wayward father,
The homeless traveler in the rain
When life goes by and no one bothers,
Heaven feels the pain.

Looking down, God sees each heartache,
Knows each sorrow, hears each cry,
And looking up, we'll see compassion's fire
Ablaze in Heaven's Eyes.


Refrain:

In Heaven's Eyes, there are no losers,
In Heaven's Eyes, no hopeless cause.
Only people like you, with feelings like me
And we're amazed by the grace we can find
In Heaven's Eyes.

This is my "comfort song" for the month. And if you know me, there's a reason why... So I thank the Lord everyday for the way He speaks to my heart, with music.

note to self

no matter how hard you try, you can't be as good, as kind, as gracious, or as patient as you want to be.

and there will always be a situation bound to prove that to you.

but more important, is the thought that you tried.

and learned.

even if you failed.

.....


and in this circle of life,

you know that you'll try

again

and again.

...

da atak of da "KA"

AKO:

Kuya, 29 ka na! yak, u'r old! :p sabi nila, maturity comes wt age, pero sa case mo, hmmm... nauna c maturity. ;) thanks, 4 being MY kuya, kaibigan, kapatid,kapamilya, kabarkada, ka-opisina, kakulitan, kabangayan, kakwentuhan, kakampi, atbp. :) hulog ka ng langit. :) at nawa sa bday mo, maramdaman mo kung gaano ka kahalaga. I rili appreciate u kuya, as a person. Hehe :) nawa lalo ka pang i-bless ni Lord. Especially sa aspeto ng... Health. *wink,wink* :P

KYALEKS:

*sniff sniff* salamat, kakosa :)

AKO:
Haha :p walang anuman, kalabaw, kalapati, kambing, kalachuchi, kalamansi, kampupot, kalabasa, kamatis, atbp. Hihi :)

KYALEKS:

Ka...lahati! :)

AKO:

Hahaha! Grabe, naiyak ako sa katatawa! Fangeth, inubo pa ko! D tuloy agad ako nakareply! Hihi :) makakaganti din ako, pagtapos na ng bday mo! Hehe :)


KYALEKS:

Last na... Ka-piraso! :) peace! Nyt glads :)

AKO:

Meron pa! Kapiranggot! Hehehe :) tseh! :p nyt, kyaleks, njoy ur bday. :) palalampasin ko ang kalapastanganang itoh! Hehe :) sha, nyt. :) hapi bday ulit. :)

watch-and-you'll-know-why :)

this caused me a month-long (almost!) LSS. :D

and yes, you can sing along! the lyrics are also available. *wink,wink*

good eyesight

A great many things in God's divine providences do not look to the eye like goodness. But faith sits down before mysteries such as these, and says, "The Lord is good, therefore all that He does must be good no matter how it looks. I can wait for His explanations".




--Hannah Whitall Smith--