| Was there ever a time when you felt like you just want to shut up and make the whole world know that you don’t want to be disturbed? Was there ever a moment in your life when you think you will survive ten thousand years without even saying a word? Was there ever a time, even in its shortest form, that you know for sure that you’re anti-social and you wish the world will just be silent and let you be? (sigh) I hate this feeling. |
| I feel loved, I feel beautiful. I feel special, I feel cherished. I feel good, I feel nice. And it’s all because of YOU. |
I should have posted this weeks ago but... I was windang. =)
There are things about my life that I don’t know how to handle. Too many things that keep on blabbering inside my head… (I’m not sure how vast and varied they are because they keep chattering all at the same time!) I can’t seem to focus on just one thing. One thing at a time… It’s so hard to do that especially because there are lots of things waiting for my immediate attention… Windang. That’s the right word. |
Waaah! – an expression of insanity, extreme happiness, excitement, panic, sadness, relief, and mixed emotions you don’t know how to express.
Weeks ago. The first "waaah!" of excitement. I received a text message from Kyaleks: "Angkol Sam, Hir ay kam...” I was thrilled! My smile's from the left ear to the right. Kyaleks is going to the US for a training-seminar! He will see snow for the first time, go to a place where he is not the tallest, visit the land of milk and honey, travel, go to US, go to US, and go to US! Waaaah! That's really a major thing! I dreamed of going there myself since I was a kid. (I had opportunities to go but decided not to... I was afraid or something...). Anyways, I was sooo excited I can't wait for him to go back to the office to share the details of the interview at the US embassy. I called his mobile, and asked for the kwento immediately. Waaaah!!!! He is going to US! He is going to US! He is really going to the United States of America! Waaaah! He arrived at the office, shared the same story with our team, then to the ates, kuyas, bosses, etc., and yes, I was there, every single time, listening and laughing at the same hirits! Somewhat pathetic, but I don't care! Waaaah! I am just so happy!
Days after. Another "waaah!" This one, on the other hand is of panic. We have agreed with the publishers of FISH Mag to be one of their ticket outlets for the Jars of Clay Show You Love Concert, and committed a guaranteed sales of a certain amount. At first, I thought it was easy. We have a good distribution network naman, I told myself... But as days went by, well... the next "waaaah!” Mahirap pala. hehe :) So there, we prayed, prayed and prayed... And voila! We were able to sell enough tickets! (clap, clap) A "waaaah" of relief. ;)
More days after. "What??? FREE tickets to the Jars of Clay Concert? Patron A seats?! The seats really near the stage?! WAAAAH!!!!" You bet! This "waaaah!" is an expression of extreme happiness!
March 2, 2005. Concert proper. I can’t remember how many “waaahs” came out of me. And yes, they were all expressions of insanity, extreme happiness, excitement, and mixed emotions I dunno how to express—all at the same time! I now love Jars of Clay!!! I even bought their newest album. :) By the way, I was with Daphne and Kaye, and I believe they shouted the same “waaahs” I shouted. Had a really, really great time. I had a free ride home courtesy of Kuya Roovin and Te Maela. And yes, they did not hear anything from me while in the car. Except for my “WAAAAH!!!!” Lots of them. Hehehe :) Thanks for bearing with me. :)
Hmmm… are you wondering when my “waaaah” of sadness happened? Well, it happened March 3, 2005, almost midnight. I was teary-eyed when I arrived home from a dinner with friends. And I was crying before I slept. Waaaah. :( Kyaleks is flying the next day. I know for sure that I’ll miss my Kuya Aleks. Araw-araw mo ba naming kasama tapos biglang hindi? Waaaah talaga yun. Sent him an sms: "Umiiyak ako. Fangeth ka! Gumawa ka ng paraan para di kita mamiss!" To which he replied: "Buhay pa ko! At nangungulangot." Hahaha. :)
Next picture. Friday morning. I’m in shades; and you know why. ;) As soon as I reached my work station, tears flowed. There was a chocolate bar near my PC, with a note from Ivy that really touched my heart. I felt cared for and special. Waaaah. (mixed emotions I dunno how to express). Wrote her a note: “Bijoi, Touched Ako. Hehe :) Love you 2 – Ate Glads” ;)
Waaaah! There are lots of things that the Lord allowed to happen in my life that made me say lots of “waaaahs”. These “waaaah moments” helped me understand myself better, appreciate people around me more, and thank the Lord for the opportunities to say “waaaah” in many different ways.
Waaaah, Lord! Love mo ko talaga! Very Much. :)
How do you talk and write about someone who's quite famous, known by many and loved by all? How can you accurately describe how it is to be his friend when you, in one way or another, are overwhelmed by it?
It really takes a lot… a lot of effort to convince myself that I can do it: I can write about Kuya Aleks, though it is much easier for me (and more enjoyable!) to talk about him. :)
I met him during my freshman year in college. He is one of the famous kuyas of the KalCFers, a kuya everyone adores. He was even a marketing tool for the core leaders! The attendance is good when the MCM people know he is attending the dorm fellowship meetings! It is always fun whenever he's around. ;)
He is MY kuya. Kuya sha ng marami, pero kahit minsan di ko naramdaman na ISA LANG ako sa kanila. He never made me feel insignificant. He listens to all my stories - may sense o wala, importante o chicka lang - kahit di pa kami close nun. Ngayon, (di pa rin kami close. Hehehe) sya na shock absorber ko! Sya nakakatanggap ng mga drama ko sa buhay. Sha nakakarinig ng mga daing ko, reklamo, at sama ng loob. Nakukulitan na yan sa kin, lam ko! Pero wala lang, tuloy pa rin ako! hehe :) I'm just sooo comfortable talking with him and sharing with him the things I can't share with just anybody. I can be myself with him. He understands me, and somehow, I'm assured that he will accept me kahit anong klaseng tao pa ako at kahit ano pang drama ng buhay ko (Remember my text dramas and “pathetic” moments? hehe)
He is my encourager. I was afraid to sing in public, his words made me try. I was afraid to lead in the praise and worship, he’s put some sense into me and never gave up in encouraging me even if I was crying! But what I appreciate most about him is his COURAGE. He is not afraid to be a real friend. He is not afraid to rebuke and confront, to care and appreciate. I've seen him handle difficult situations and he is not afraid to face problems, even stressors head on. He is not afraid to ask questions; jologs man o profound. hehe
He is music to my ears. :) I love listening to him. When he speaks, may wisdom! When he sings, may dating! (Shempre, lagi ko shang inookray. Pero atin-atin lang 'to: pa-cute lang yun. haha para masaya) Advantage pa na officemate ko sha! Masaya ang lunch, at madalas pati dinner! Oo nga pala! Gustung gusto ko shang kasabay pauwi kasi nililibre nya ko sa jeep or sa bus! :D
When I think of Kuya Aleks, I can't help but thank the Lord. Kyaleks is an oversize blessing! The thought of him being my kuya is overwhelming! There is comfort, there is joy; because I know I'm accepted and loved no matter what. Alam ni Lord na kailangan ko ng isang kuyang tulad nya kaya for almost 8 years now, he is My Kuya Aleks.
Kuya, pag nagka-girlfriend ka na, Kuya pa rin kita ha?! :)
